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《關于房市的笑話》

發布時間:2018-02-15 13:39 類別:戀愛部落

  朋友[PengYou]三四的在一起聚會。

  Three or four friends gathering together.

  阿黃:欣逢盛世,怎不大碗喝酒,不醉無歸!

  huang:On the happy occasion of prosperity,Why don't the bowlful,Not drunk down!

  阿幺:什么[ShiMe]盛世啊,你娃娃身在體制內,又開始唱贊歌了。

  O MAO:What time?,Your baby is within the system,Sing praises again.

  阿黃:你娃兒難道不是混體制的?

  huang:Your kids don't mix system?

  阿幺:我是!我是混體制的邊緣人。

  O MAO:I am a!I'm from the edge of the mixed system.

  阿高:你倆啊,狗咬狗、一嘴毛。

  O high:The two of you!,Dog eat dog/A mouth of MAO.

  我:我倒是想喝醉,不過,阿黃你總得給個理由先。

  I:I'd like to get drunk,However,,Huang you must give a reason first.

  阿黃:君不聞,那印度阿三想挑釁我大國天威,陳兵邊境數日,結果[JieGuo]呢,在我強大的實力面前,最終還不是扛不住,灰溜溜撤兵,連臺階都沒找到一個。

  huang:You don't smell,The three want to provoke me big tianwei,India,Chen bing border a few days,The result?,In front of my strength,Finally also not hit,Despondently the withdrawal,Did not even find a step.

  我:這樣啊,的確該飲酒慶祝一番。可國家如此威猛,服飾搭配能不能給我等廣大草民發點福利啊。

  I:So...,Does the drinking to celebrate.But country is so brave,Can I have the right to send some benefits.

  阿黃:你想要什么[ShiMe]福利?

  huang:What benefits do you want?

  我:比如說降房價[FangJia]。

  I:Such as reduced prices.

  阿黃:這哪兒跟哪兒啊,二者沒半毛錢關系。

  huang:This where to where,They haven't anything to do.

  我:怎么沒關系呢?這樣吧,我講個笑話[XiaoHua]給你們聽。

  I:It doesn't matter how??Let it be,I tell you a joke.

  阿幺:好啊,好啊,我最喜歡笑話了。

  O MAO:Good!,Good!,I like the joke.

  我:西行路上,唐僧師徒四人遇一伙悍匪,經過一番激斗,唐僧師徒終究不敵繳械投降,悍匪們二話不說,綁起豬八戒就走,豬八戒大驚,急叫:“我不是唐僧!我不是唐僧!你們抓錯人了!”悍匪頭目啐了一口痰,罵道:“靠!抓的就是你!你他媽不知道豬肉漲價了嗎?兄弟們已經好幾個月沒吃肉了!”

  I:XiHang Road on,Tang's monk teacher and pupil four people in a group of confrontation,After some fireworks,Tang's monk teacher and pupil by surrendered after all,Rather than confrontation,Tie up the pig eight quit to go,Pig eight quit to frightened,Urgent call:“I am not a monk!I am not a monk!You grasp the wrong person!”Confrontation spat leader sputum,Scold a way:“by!Catch is you!You his mama don't know the increase in the price of pork?Brothers haven't eat meat for several months!”

  阿黃:你這笑話[XiaoHua]和房價[FangJia]也沒什么關系啊?

  huang:Your jokes and house prices also has nothing to do this?

  我:怎么沒有關系——靚容美發因為房價漲了,豬肉也漲價了,所有的東西都跟著漲價了。

  I:How did not concern——Because prices rise,Pork prices,All things follow up.

  切,原來是這樣,所有的人都恍然大悟。

  cut,Turned out to be such,Then it dawned on everyone.

  阿幺:我有一個夢,經常做。

  O MAO:I have a dream,Often do.

  阿高:看你一副猥瑣樣,肯定做的是和美女XXOO的夢吧。

  O high:See you a sample,Must do is and beauty to have dreams.

  阿幺:哥沒你陰暗。哥做的夢與房事無關,與房市有關——

  O MAO:Elder brother didn't you,dark.Elder brother's dream has nothing to do with sex,Related to the housing——

  我:快說是什么夢啊,別大喘氣的好不好。

  I:What is it a dream,Don't big pant is good.

  阿幺:我夢見自己成了土豪,終于在偉大的首都買了一套獨立別墅,800平,帶游泳池、花園和羽毛球館。

  O MAO:I dreamed I became a local tyrants,Finally in the great capital bought a set of independent villa,800 -,With a swimming pool/The garden and badminton hall.

  阿黃:這要是放在過去,簡直就相當于皇宮啊。

  huang:If this in the past,It is equivalent to the palace.

  阿幺:哥們別急,我還沒講完呢——我就排在人潮中等著交錢領鑰匙,終于輪到我了,我興奮的遞上銀行卡說不差錢,可經理一刷卡,一臉驚恐的看著我,說你這是冥幣啊,想買別墅,等死了再說吧。

  O MAO:The elder brothers don't worry,I haven't finished yet——I'm waiting in the crowds to pay money to bring the key,It was my turn at last,I am excited said pass bank card money,A credit card can be manager,A face of panic looking at me,Say you MingBi it is,Want to buy villa,Such as dead.

  我:死了你也買不起視線,聽說陰間房價也漲的兇,都鬼哭狼嚎的。

  I:Die you also can't afford it,I heard that the grave house prices also rose,All of the brotherhood of the Wolf.

  阿幺:后來我問經理,能不能讓我進別墅參觀一下?結果[JieGuo]那經理說:“門都沒有!你不會點開手機看圖片啊,一樣的過癮。”

  O MAO:Then I ask the manager,Can you let me into visit the villa?Results the manager says:“no!You don't leave your cell phone to see pictures,The same enjoyable.”

  接下來阿高給我們講了個笑話。

  The next high o tell a joke to us.

  阿高:夜里我做夢,夢見一個白胡子老爺爺一本正經的給我說:“馬上要降房價[FangJia]了!”早上起床我趕緊說給了鄰居家,結果[JieGuo]他們聽完哈哈大笑,一直笑到把早飯吐出來。見他們不信,我就在網上說給朋友[PengYou]們聽,朋友[PengYou]們一致大罵我“時尚資訊白日做夢!”上班了,我說給同事們聽,結果[JieGuo]這時領導走過來,瞪我一眼說:“空談誤國!趕緊的,開會了。”開會中我又打了個盹,結果[JieGuo]夢到上帝他老人家,我就問他這事是不是真的?上帝回答我:“降房價[FangJia]這事的確是有的,不過是在天堂。你要是不信,就上天堂來看看。”

  O high:I dream at night,Dream of a white beard old man seriously said to me:“Is about to drop prices!”In the morning I said to the neighbor's quickly,As a result they listened and laughed,Always smile to vomit for breakfast.See they not believe,I will tell my friends on the Internet,My friends are consistent“daydreaming!”Go to work,I said it to colleagues,The results lead came along,Stare at me say:“Talk is harmful!hurry,The meeting.”I played a nap in the meeting,Results the dreamt of god's his old man's house,I ask him that is true?God answer me:“Fall is indeed some prices about it,But is in heaven.If you don't believe,Will go to heaven to see.”

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